Stories are the most important thing in existence. More than actual reality, stories shape who we are because they shape our experience of the world and our very identities. What happened, what could happen, who we are, who we can be, and who everyone else is in relation to us, all of these are stories.
“Wait, no, those sound like memories.” You might be thinking. Technically yes, you have memories of what has happened, but are you aware of how ridiculously unreliable your own memories are? The brain is an amazing tool, but not always the most accurate. For example, there is a known issue with eye witnesses remembering things incorrectly due to anything from ambient conditions to racial profiling. There’s also the fact that science knows your memories change every time you remember them.
This doesn’t mean you don’t remember what you remember, it just means you have your own spin on what happened. This is why you can argue with someone over what happened and both of you be so convinced you’re right. Heck, you might both be right. Because it’s very rarely ‘what happened’, but more often how you interpreted what happened…ie your ‘story’ of what happened.
And this is true for almost everyone in the world. We use stories to learn, and to plan, and to make sense of the world. Stories we internalize from events, daydreams, and actual stories from shows and books and anecdotes.
Stories have always been a big part of my life. My writing mentor once asked a group of writers, ‘when did you tell your family that you were a writer?’, like when did you admit that this was something you were passionate about and something you were pursuing? And I remember that my answer was, I never did. I was telling stories from the time I had the language to do so, and my family was just aware of it. I wrote, I created, I was a writer because I literally didn’t know any other way to be. Even now that I’m working toward being a professional and being seen on a wider scale, there was never a serious question of whether or not I would stop writing. I couldn’t stop creating stories any more than I could stop breathing.
And if you’re a writer like me, consciously making stories, it’s good to also be aware of how often you are unconsciously creating stories about everything. It’s what the brain does. Some people never acknowledge this, they assume their memories, their experience of life is the be all end all. As a writer, you want to be aware of this, both for yourself and in others.
Not only will it make you a better writer, but it will make you a more understanding and accepting person, which is never a bad thing. AND understanding how you create stories that influence your world will help you to create more believable and real characters for the intentional stories you’re writing.