Tag: 2020

I didn’t post the previous post until the same day I posted this one (though I back-dated it to the day I wrote it) and part of that was because this past month, almost to the day, has been particularly hard. On top of the normal seasonal depression, my grandmother-in-law passed on Christmas, despite Biden winning the election it has been a continual shit-fest (oh yeah, I’m cussing now, not a lot, but some things deserve it), then we had a coup attempt, and it could’ve been so much worse than it was. I also had several other family things going on. The last post really encompassed my malaise.

And I’m just now managing to pull myself out the other side. I think Biden actually taking office and Trump actually being gone has had more of an effect than I expected. It’s like the entire country is finally allowing themselves to be okay again. This article by Chuck Wendig is a thing of beauty and it might do you good to read it. It helped me a lot start putting things into perspective.

The Hubby and I discussed the absolute glut of Bernie Sanders in Mittens memes that have literally flooded the Internet. I’ve never seen a meme storm like this one. And we both agree that this is the entire country latching on to the joy that is a nonsensical meme because we can finally do that again. Because we’re no longer terrified of what Trump is going to do next, that we might lose our country, our freedoms, our lives to the capricious will of that fucking sociopathic narcissist.

Things aren’t normal, they’re not safe yet, but there’s finally hope. And that hope is being expressed by the whole country, using this man in mittens.

Here I am, more than half way into January of a new year and there’s no retrospective, there’s no plan for my writing, no excitement about what the future could be. I feel like I’m drifting through some sort of of alternate reality dream space while mechanically performing my every-day tasks.
Maybe that’s how the entirety of the last year (well since March) has gone, and I just didn’t really acknowledge it until now. I mean I knew the last year was bizarre, but somewhere in my mind, even though I know on an intellectual level that a new year doesn’t mean anything to the cosmos, I was still expecting something to have changed? Something to have shifted? Something to have settled? That there would be something to latch onto. And there isn’t. The agreement reality of the country that surrounds and informs my existence is coming apart at the seams.

My faith in the general goodness of humanity was cracked last year, and that rift continues to grow. I don’t believe that there is no goodness in people but, well, this post sums it up surprisingly accurately.

I look at everyone in my life fundamentally differently now. I believed for a long time time that people are born good, and they are, only now I realize that this world whispers lies, tiny lies over and over again. And some people look at those lies and they question them and search for the truth that will make the world better for all. And other people look at those lies and make them their world, so when they search for truth, the truth is grown from those lies, and they become so convinced of their own rightness that nothing else matters.