I Lost the Entirety of March

Laura Highcove

I looked away for a moment and suddenly it’s a month later. Though looking back at my last entry, today is April 4th and just today I put the finishing touches on my list of things that needed to be fixed/written, so I followed my plan perfectly even though I had forgotten what it was. I have also gone through and pulled out the items that I think are maroon problems. Maroon problems are the most base problems, dealing with issues that span the book, like not foreshadowing early enough or not taking steps toward a pay-off.

They are the hardest to deal with for that reason, because they touch so much, but also the most important to hammer into shape. I also put in action steps for each one but at this point I have no idea how long each of them will take. I’d like to think less than a month but there are 24 of them and I’m not confidant I can knock out one a day. I mean some of them may be easy enough to. Uhhh, okay, let’s aim to get one done a day and check back on April 18th. I can even pick and choose which ones I think will be the easiest.

Working for Productivity

Laura Highcove

As I said last week, I got through my goal of getting all I have of the Wizard smoothed out by March. I was then going to write a few more scenes, but a number of those ended up not working because I just don’t have enough of a handle on where those characters are in order to move forward.

The next step is going to be going back through BOTH the Huntsman and the Wizard and making a master list of things that need to be fixed/written. It won’t take as long as going through and editing things, for sure, but I’m still thinking at least a month. I’m going to aim for April 4th, which is a Sunday, to get this pass through done. Then I’ll make another plan.

Blessings I did not touch at all this week. I’m a little sad about that, as I would like to work on it. It’s just hard to have an actual goal right now. I suppose just word count?

Also, not that I mention it here a lot, but my house is a freaking mess. So I think I’ll have to spend a considerable amount of time on that in the next week as well.

Been trying for a while to get back to more productivity and I haven’t quite found that sweet spot yet. Of course I don’t think I ever really felt comfortably productive at any time, so maybe I’m just grasping at shadows. But I’m going to keep going anyway.

Timelines are for Wusses

Laura Highcove

Met my goal with the Wizard. I got through everything I had written and even started writing a scene or two that if beyond what I had already written. So I am super stoked about that. I really didn’t think I was going to hit my goal, but while there were some spots that really dragged when it came to fixing them up, there were even more places that absolutely flew by both because they were pretty tight already and I just enjoyed the scenes.

The timeline of this story is going to kill me, not only am I doing more povs than I ever have before (eight), but different Kingdoms have different day/night cycles that just don’t line up in many cases. I am not looking forward to having to hammer that out, but again, right now is about finishing the story. I certainly think I’m at the point now where I need to figure out what my ending is, and then write to it. I don’t want to accidentally write to the ending and then realize I left out a huge plot point. All the other books could end with loose ends, this one had to have most of those tied up.

And while I haven’t gone back to Blessings, I did have some nice ideas for the story that I was able to jot down. When I do get back into that story I think it will provide some things for me to aim for, and to help define some of the characters that are still up in the air.

Next step, write out the scenes in the Wizard that I know I need to write. Then I’ll probably go back through the story, and smooth it out some more before I make a master list of everything that needs to be done. I’m going to give myself a week to write out those new scenes, and then I’ll see where I am.

Going for the Goal

Laura Highcove

Progress since last entry. I’ve been doing more of my writing before I get out of my barn work clothes. It means I’m still dirty from barn, but it means I got through my two scenes every day which is really the most important thing.

I did, just yesterday, run into the part of the story that is the least cohesive. That means I had to basically rewrite the whole scene and add new stuff, still got two scenes done but I figure I might run into scenes soon that take much more effort. Still want to make sure I get at least a scene done a day. Not sure what this means about my desire to get done by March. I have another week and a full weekend, so I’ll still aim for it. I’m sure I can do it. It will just require a lot of focus.

I haven’t, however, done any more with Blessings recently. I’m not thrilled about that since I’m very close to where I would be writing new words, but that’s possibly the reason I’m slacking, cause new words are generally my least favorite part, especially at this part of the story. I love revision, when I have my framework, or when it’s all beautiful and new and I don’t have to worry about where the story is actually going.

Anyway, that’s my update. Still trucking along and I’m rather proud of myself.

Untitled

Laura Highcove

So I failed at my goals. In two weeks I did only seven scenes and almost nothing on blessings and legit nothing on j55. No real excuse, I just didn’t hold myself to the plan. I did find that instead of taking a shower right after lunch, that I’m more productive if I stay in my work clothes, so I’m going to try that for this next bit and see what happens.

I have 30 scenes left in wizard now. Two weeks until march. That would be two scenes a day. A bit of a tall ask but I feel like I need to do it. I can’t just give up on my goal. What if it was a real enforceable goal? I’d have to power through. Does mean j55 will go on the back burner. I think three stories was too much but I’m going to keep trying with blessings.

I want to finish this story but I think I’ve ended up in a place of resignation about ever publishing anything which dampens my enthusiasm. It shouldn’t be about publishing, but then who will ever see my stories? I want people to read my stories. That’s the point really. They’re just so much out there about how even if you’re good its all about luck. I understand why that dialogue exists, however its actually rather discouraging to me. I could be amazing. A once in a lifetime talent (not that I think I am, but you know what I mean), and it doesn’t matter if the right person/people don’t see it. Which I suppose is an argument for getting the most stories out there and getting myself out there, but that just isn’t the way it lands for me.

I want to finish the storyteller trilogy to prove I can. To actually end something. I wish that was motivation enough in itself.

A Collective Sigh of Relief

Laura Highcove

I didn’t post the previous post until the same day I posted this one (though I back-dated it to the day I wrote it) and part of that was because this past month, almost to the day, has been particularly hard. On top of the normal seasonal depression, my grandmother-in-law passed on Christmas, despite Biden winning the election it has been a continual shit-fest (oh yeah, I’m cussing now, not a lot, but some things deserve it), then we had a coup attempt, and it could’ve been so much worse than it was. I also had several other family things going on. The last post really encompassed my malaise.

And I’m just now managing to pull myself out the other side. I think Biden actually taking office and Trump actually being gone has had more of an effect than I expected. It’s like the entire country is finally allowing themselves to be okay again. This article by Chuck Wendig is a thing of beauty and it might do you good to read it. It helped me a lot start putting things into perspective.

The Hubby and I discussed the absolute glut of Bernie Sanders in Mittens memes that have literally flooded the Internet. I’ve never seen a meme storm like this one. And we both agree that this is the entire country latching on to the joy that is a nonsensical meme because we can finally do that again. Because we’re no longer terrified of what Trump is going to do next, that we might lose our country, our freedoms, our lives to the capricious will of that fucking sociopathic narcissist.

Things aren’t normal, they’re not safe yet, but there’s finally hope. And that hope is being expressed by the whole country, using this man in mittens.

The “New” Year

Laura Highcove

Here I am, more than half way into January of a new year and there’s no retrospective, there’s no plan for my writing, no excitement about what the future could be. I feel like I’m drifting through some sort of of alternate reality dream space while mechanically performing my every-day tasks.
Maybe that’s how the entirety of the last year (well since March) has gone, and I just didn’t really acknowledge it until now. I mean I knew the last year was bizarre, but somewhere in my mind, even though I know on an intellectual level that a new year doesn’t mean anything to the cosmos, I was still expecting something to have changed? Something to have shifted? Something to have settled? That there would be something to latch onto. And there isn’t. The agreement reality of the country that surrounds and informs my existence is coming apart at the seams.


My faith in the general goodness of humanity was cracked last year, and that rift continues to grow. I don’t believe that there is no goodness in people but, well, this post sums it up surprisingly accurately.

I look at everyone in my life fundamentally differently now. I believed for a long time time that people are born good, and they are, only now I realize that this world whispers lies, tiny lies over and over again. And some people look at those lies and they question them and search for the truth that will make the world better for all. And other people look at those lies and make them their world, so when they search for truth, the truth is grown from those lies, and they become so convinced of their own rightness that nothing else matters.

The Christmas Break

Laura Highcove

It occurred to me earlier this week that I generally have a vacation around Christmas. Since we’re not going anywhere because of THE PANDEMIC, basically it’s been business as usual, which means the same work schedule as normal. Then I decided, screw that, I don’t have do anything! So I just played fast and loose with my schedule for a few days. In fact I clocked in 15.6 hours on a new game that I bought yesterday morning, in the first day. Excessive, but fun!

As for my writing, I’ve been jumping between Blessings of the Neriel and Jeremy Five-five, since my husband and I are trying out something new with the fight scenes. BotN I’ve been smoothing out pretty hard. Getting a few previously all over the place scenes much more focused, and trying to figure out where I’m going to go from here. I think I have a pretty decent idea, I just have to write it. J55 (which is my new favorite abbreviation for a story) is a story that I absolutely love and I want to write, but the plethora of fight scenes was really a problem for me. This is what I get growing up on shounen anime. My husband got back to me with the first set of bullet points for the first fight we tried, and it still wasn’t easy to write, but now that the rough draft of it is done, I’m hoping it will clean up nicely later. The one we did first was also a short fight, and there are some longer, far more important ones coming up. It’ll be a lot of fun.

I still haven’t gotten back to the Wizard. But my lackadaisical attitude around my writing this week didn’t really lend itself to diving back into that anyway. I want to at least touch base with it tomorrow, though technically the month break isn’t over until next weekend. We’ll see. This is the home stretch, the hard part, and I refuse to give up. I totally get the thing now that writers say about getting distracted by shiny new stories because the one you’re working on has lost it’s mystery. I basically know what I have to do with the Wizard, I just need to write it, and that’s not new and fun, even though I’m sure I’ll still discover new things about this story before it’s all over.

Thanks for continuing to root for me. You’re awesome.

Back to Writing

Laura Highcove

My writing the past two weeks has focused rather heavily on the Blessings of the Neriel. Most of what I’ve done is pushing through what I had written and smoothed out some of the scenes where I had too many different versions to know what my characters were actually doing. I also finally wrote out a character list, because for some reason that story I just didn’t really have all of my characters consistently named. Only the main character, I’ve always known what her name was.

I’m also doing an experiment with my hubby. I have a story I’ve always wanted to finish called Jeremy Five-five. I posted a Chapter 1 of it to my newsletter …last year? Omg was it just last year? …

Anyway, this story is about Jeremy, who is sent to an Academy where the students take part in a video game that allows them to fight each other, only this video game is there to mask the fact that there is magic in the world, in which Jeremy is well-trained, only has sworn off using.

This story, predictably, has a lot of fight scenes. And while I’ve gotten better at them, I’m not convinced I can provide the nuance in the choreography to make the emotional beats land properly. As such, my hubby, who is good at fight choreography, is helping and he’s just gotten back to me with the first set of ‘bullet points’ for the fight so I can take them and turn them into an actual fight.

I also gave myself a bit of a break from the Wizard after Nano, and I’m now getting back to a place where I want to pick it up again. I would like to get through the rest of the smoothing in Blessings of the Neriel first, but that will likely be happening soon. At this point I don’t even remember all of what I wrote, so it’ll be interesting when I dive back in.

Either way, Nanowrimo really did kick me back into my writing habit, and I’m glad that it did.

End of the Year

Laura Highcove

So I have been having a hard time getting back into the habit of these journal entries, but I really want to. Not for all of you necessarily, but because they help me focus, plan, and …why isn’t goal a verb? Even goaling isn’t. Making a goal. Planning a goal. Bah, I’m annoyed by that the same way I am that there’s no word for shaking your head.

But I digress. Last week was the end of NaNoWriMo for one of the …most eventful years of my life. I finished my 50k words. I had been debating authenticating them because of all of the rules I had made up for what I was counting as words for this year. Only the website has changed such that as soon as you put in 50k words as your word count total, you’ve won. Maybe it’s for the best. I did the work, and that’s really the important bit.

And the Wizard still isn’t finish, but it’s so much closer than it was. And I’ve decided I’m taking the month off, or at least a few weeks to just let it settle. Then in January I’ll start organizing what I have and see what’s still missing.

I’ve also been working a bit on the story and characters for Blessings of the Neriel, which has been fun. I’d really like to work on this story next, but I do want to finish the Storyteller Trilogy first.