Lack of Motivation

I have been suffering recently with a lack of motivation. Ever since I put the Huntsman in my hubby’s hands for an alpha read, I’ve been struggling to find another project that interests me as much. I was working on the rough drafts of two other novel ideas that sort of fizzled. I tried doing some prompts, but those ended up just flopping around and not feeling very effective. I also wrangled an idea for a short story where I tried to outline it before writing it, but I ended up with a story where none of the characters feel like characters.

There were brief moments for each of these that felt exciting. But it’s like the sparks that jump out from the fire. They burn brightly, and you wonder for a moment if they’ll really catch fire, but instead the light fades, leaving you with only a tiny sooty reminder that there was anything there at all.

This worries me. If I’m going to make a career at this, I should be able to sit down and write that needs to be written. What happens when I pitch a book idea to my eventual agent, and they get all excited about it, and then I get into this same situation where I can’t write it? What if more of my projects fizzle than catch fire?

Am I really getting better at this writing thing? Because I feel like my skill with actual writing may be growing, but at the same time I’m losing access to the things that used to come so easily. What good is it for me to be able to write a beautiful sentence, or have all my plot points in a row if I can’t come up with an interesting concept that can carry a book or a character that feels real?

I did, however, get the Huntsman back at the beginning of last week and I was finally able to sit down with my hubby and hammer out some plot points that should help with my muddled middle. I’m so still in love with this project, and though it still needs some serious work, I’m feeling much better about it.

I’ve also gone a long way toward accepting that writing a sequel really is that much harder than writing book one, so I’m feeling less bad about my ‘lack of progress’ on this book. It’s going to take however long it’s going to take, as annoying as that is, but I want this book. I want to keep following these characters and I want to know what happens.

It’s also the third week of the short story I’m publishing through my newsletter about a young Loki and a war between men and gods. If you’d like to read it, you can sign up here.

Still having doubts, still moving forward.