So I failed at my goals. In two weeks I did only seven scenes and almost nothing on blessings and legit nothing on j55. No real excuse, I just didn’t hold myself to the plan. I did find that instead of taking a shower right after lunch, that I’m more productive if I stay in my work clothes, so I’m going to try that for this next bit and see what happens.
I have 30 scenes left in wizard now. Two weeks until march. That would be two scenes a day. A bit of a tall ask but I feel like I need to do it. I can’t just give up on my goal. What if it was a real enforceable goal? I’d have to power through. Does mean j55 will go on the back burner. I think three stories was too much but I’m going to keep trying with blessings.
I want to finish this story but I think I’ve ended up in a place of resignation about ever publishing anything which dampens my enthusiasm. It shouldn’t be about publishing, but then who will ever see my stories? I want people to read my stories. That’s the point really. They’re just so much out there about how even if you’re good its all about luck. I understand why that dialogue exists, however its actually rather discouraging to me. I could be amazing. A once in a lifetime talent (not that I think I am, but you know what I mean), and it doesn’t matter if the right person/people don’t see it. Which I suppose is an argument for getting the most stories out there and getting myself out there, but that just isn’t the way it lands for me.
I want to finish the storyteller trilogy to prove I can. To actually end something. I wish that was motivation enough in itself.
